Question Tyme: How do you Make a Chicken?

Once again, a corker.

In conversation with Harry, aged 5.75, after a roast chicken dinner.

– Daddy, how do you make a chicken?

– You just get it from the supermarket, put it in the oven and roast it, Harry.

– No. How do you MAKE it.

– Um. Well. Baby chickens come from the eggs that lady chickens lay. The farmer grows the chickens until they’re big and then sells them to the supermarket.

– Hmm. How does the farmer catch the chicken, Daddy?

– [HAS ROCKY II FLASHBACK], they’re quite hard to catch because they can run quite fast AND fly so…

– Can they run faster than Flash, Daddy?

– I doubt it Harry, he can move at [GOOGLES, ENTERS GEEK HEAVEN] 13 trillion times the speed of light.

– That’s fast, Daddy… How fast can a chicken run?

– [GOOGLES] About 9 mph apparently.

– And a man?

– [GOOGLES] Says here Usain Bolt ran 28mph, so no faster than that.

– But you, Daddy, how fast can YOU run?

– [CHECKS MAP MY RUN] So, usually about 7 mph.

– You can’t run as fast as a chicken? Then how are you going to catch one?

– I’m not. That’s what supermarkets are for…

– Hmm. Is there a chicken in your head, Daddy?

– Huh?!

– Your head looks a bit like an egg, Daddy – is there a chicken in it?

– …